Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Do You Have What It Takes?

*climbs onto boulder with bullhorn at the ready, a screeching sound piercing the air when it keys up*

Attention, please? My street team, Parker’s Pimpin’ Posse (P3), is currently recruiting new members. I’d like to introduce you to P3’s admin, Alicia Justice, and co-admins, Jb Ramos and Maureen Morgan. I’ll turn it over to Alicia now.

*Ali takes bullhorn and steps up, cheer captain’s smile in place*

For those of you who might not know, a street team consists of an elite selection of diehard pimpsters who are gung-ho when it comes to spreading the word about an author and his/her work. With the upcoming release of the Million Dollar Duet, we want to be sure we have a strong team in place and raring to go well before the drop date for A MILLION DIRTY SECRETS. It’s not all work, though. We have a lot of fun in P3. To ensure we have a well-rounded experience, we’ve opted for an application process. If you’re interested, please complete the application here or below, fully. Don’t be afraid to brag on yourself a bit and really show us what you’ll bring to the table - long fur coat, cane, pimp hat, and all. This will be a selective process of a limited number, so once you’ve submitted your application, be sure to look for your invitation to become a P3 in your email inbox. Oh, and spread the word … it just might be your first chance to show us what mad skills you possess *wink*

*CL shoves Ali off the rock and pries the bullhorn from her hands* Thank you, Ali. Couldn’t have said it better myself. *smiles while chanting under breath* Please let someone fill out an application. Please let someone fill out an application. Please let someone fill out an application . . .

Um, right, so . . . this is a thing, huh? Maybe Noah Crawford, himself, will even join the group and regal us with half naked pictures. Oh, wait. That’s not true. Unlike these big advertising firms, I can’t lie. Sex sells, so um . . . pshhh . . . I don’t know . . . should I promise favors??? No, no, no . . . that’s prostitution. How about you apply and I say thank you with a not so creepy smile? And then promise you my first born, who’s actually getting ready to turn 16, so he still has a couple of good years left in him if you need someone to do chores around the house? I’ll even still pay his college tuition. Yeah, that works.

My name is CL Parker, and I approve this message.

I look forward to working with each of you! *hopeful smile with fingers crossed*


*Disclaimer* CL Parker will not actually give you her first born child. This is a free advertisement, shameless and unapologetic in nature.


Monday, June 10, 2013

F.U.N. at R.A.G.T.

As many of you are probably aware from the many Facebook posts, I attended Lori Foster’s Reader and Author Get Together (RAGT) in Ohio over the weekend. It was my first experience at this particular convention, as well as my first experience of really being able to participate as an author. I have Darynda Jones to thank for that.

Speaking of Darynda Jones . . . She was my bunk mate. Bless her. Not entirely sure she will ever agree to do so again. I’m kidding. She’s an amazing woman, and I’m very lucky to be able to call her my friend. Just look at how she represented Team CLP!!! She made me look good, but then again, my T-shirt made her look pretty damn spectacular in this pic as well. LOL! Right behind her is the bed where we “slept” with each other. *waggles brows* If those walls could talk . . . they might have whispered words of condolence to the incomparable Mrs. Jones. *snort*

But Darynda wasn’t the only one representing Team CLP at the convention. Check out these gorgeous hotties!!! No, your eyes are not deceiving you. That's Gayle Donnelly and Robyn Mackenzie (authors of the Blood Feud series) on either side of Darynda Jones, and on the end, is the admin of my Parker's Pimpin' Posse street team and owner of Jitterbug PR, Alicia Justice.

The original NOLA girls were back together again. Robyn Mackenzie, me, Gayle Donnelly, Patricia Dechant, and Britta Urquhart. We are so LOUD when we're together, mostly because of all the laughing which tends to draw even more people in.

There was debauchery to be had . . . and booze. PatrĂ³n might have been a culprit. In my defense, I don't recall purchasing very many of the margaritas and shots that found their way in front of me. Pretty sure there was a conspiracy going on, but I got wise to it after that first night. Think I'll just take this opportunity to add a bit of a disclaimer *clears throat* No NYT and USA Today bestselling authors were harmed in the making of this adventure, but we annihilated some onion rings and beer cheese sauce. Patricia Dechant, aka C. S. Maxwell, obviously had a lascivious affair going on with them, and I've got the proof. Have a look here:

Darynda and I were quite entertained.

Friday was our dear friend, Britta Urquhart's 40th birthday! That's her . . . down there . . . standing up . . . with all the, um, blue shirt between Robyn and Gayle's heads. She looks FABULOUS, doesn't she??? 

So fabulous in fact, that she ended up handcuffed to cover model extraordinaire, Billy Freda!! The poor dear . . . 

*disclaimer* Blame Patricia Dechant for the blurry photos. My bestie cannot take a clear pic to save her life. This was a theme. I kid you not.

Obviously, I was afraid for Britta, and being the amazing friend I am, I had to help get her out of those handcuffs. Otherwise, how would I get in them? You see the type of sacrifice I'm willing to make for my friends? 

I'm sworn to secrecy on the topic of Britta's expression in this pic, but LOOK at how determined I am to set her free. My devotion knows no bounds. True story. 

They were plastic cuffs for chrissakes and NOTHING was working. I was understandably worried that Britta might be handcuffed to a gorgeous cover model for the rest of her life (read: I might never be handcuffed to a gorgeous cover model for the rest of my life).

And then Scott Nova showed up to save the day. Naturally, I shoved those other two out of my way, used them as stepping stones to get at Scott, and then assumed the position . . . for my photo op, of course. My hero! 

*girly swoon*

Psst . . . Scott Nova is a total fangirl. Even asked me to autograph his abs so he could have it tattooed there, but I refused because tattoos are forever, but our love affair might not be - on my side, not his. True story. Ask him yourself. 

However, THIS love affair will last a thousand lifetimes. Ladies and gents, let me introduce you to Robyn Peterman, author of How Hard Can It Be? and Pirate Dave's hot little mama. Go to that link and check her out. This lady is the total package, and I wanted to stick her in my pocket and steal her away. She wouldn't have complained. As you can tell by the pic below, she couldn't keep her hands off me. It was quite embarrassing how badly she wanted my body. Accosted me and all . . . (pay no attention to the Michelin man that found his way around my waist - apparently, I'm irresistible). 

As is Robyn, so I gave in. And our love affair began. Don't tell Darynda or Scott or Patricia or Billy or Brandon (the bartender). It'll break their hearts. 

But the absolute BEST time I had was when this gal was on the scene. Jowanna Delong Kestner, admin of Pimpin' Reads and the designer of my website. Jo couldn't say ANYTHING without causing me to double over in side-splitting laughter. I love her! I love her! I love her! And she represented, too . . . 

I got to meet a few other incredible ladies as well: Amanda Usen, Macy Beckett, Julie Lindsey, Donna McDonald, and J.M. Madden. Please check out each of these amazing authors, bloggers, and models. They help make our world go 'round and have left permanent fingerprints on my heart. *sniffle*

I never wanted RAGT to come to an end, but alas, all good things must. After all, I have copy edits for book #2 in my Million Dollar Duet, A MILLION GUILTY PLEASURES, waiting in my inbox with a hot deadline. Plus, being around all the word lovers, talking about plots, characters, and story arcs is THE most important part of conventions because it stokes that spark into a full-on inferno and I MUST write 'til I die, which will never happen because writing makes me feel alive. And with that, I'm out.


Saturday, June 1, 2013


Announcing a super fabulous, divaliscious 1K GIVEAWAY!!! Thanks to you beautiful people and all your support, I've managed over 500 LIKES on my   C. L. Parker official Facebook page in a very short amount of time. Now, I want to DOUBLE that! That's right! Let's try for 1000 LIKES on that page by the release date for A MILLION DIRTY SECRETS, 8/27/2013. If we reach our goal by midnight on 8/26/13, two lucky winners will get their hands on some fantastic prizes. 

One lucky winner will receive an autographed paperback of all THREE books in the Supernova Saga, as well as an autographed copy of A Million Dirty Secrets and a FLYAS T-shirt.  

A second winner will receive an autographed copy of A Million Dirty Secrets, a FLYAS T-shirt, and a $25 Amazon gift card.  You can enter via the Rafflecopter widget below!  Best of luck to you, and as always . . .


a Rafflecopter giveaway