Friday, September 27, 2013

The Mechanics of Super Cooch

Ah, Double Agent Coochie . . . that shameless hussy. While some may find her silly, immature, and unnecessary, she does serve a purpose to the story dynamic. Multiple purposes, in fact.

First, she’s the comic relief, and without a comic relief, the story could get pretty heavy. A virgin auctions her body off to the highest bidder in an effort to save her dying mother’s life. Heavy stuff, right? Personally, I like a little hehe-haha with my lip biting and growlies and teary eyes and sniffles and “ah-come-on!”s.

Second, and probably most important, she makes what Lanie does, how easily she slips into her role, more believable. We all read stories where the formula is that of a reluctant heroin placed in a situation where she must be submissive, but finds she likes it. Right? Well, I never buy into it. Doesn’t matter how hot the sex is. I need the story to be realistic. The dilemma I was then faced with was how to make Lanie’s submission and eagerness seem realistic.

Enter the Cooch.

Cooch is sort of like an alter ego, if you will. Lanie’s scapegoat. A coping mechanism to help her mentally and emotionally deal with the situation she’s found herself in.
Double Agent Coochie makes it possible for Lanie to secretly like the things Noah is doing to her body without carrying so much of the shame along with it. Because let’s face it, Lanie SHOULDN’T like what this total stranger is doing to her. She SHOULD feel shame because proper morals and values dictate as much in our society. It wasn’t enough that she was under contract to satisfy Noah’s every need. She’d voluntarily signed that contract; ergo, not a good excuse. No, she needed something involuntary to excuse her wanton reactions to Noah’s manipulations. It wasn’t Lanie; it was the Cooch. Hence, the Double Agent Coochie and Benedict Arnold references. She has a mind of her own, and Lanie can only barely keep her under control. It’s quite the chore, and thus we should admire Lanie for her persistence and at least try to empathize with her predicament. Can’t be easy to be Lanie Talbot, after all. Where’s the entertainment in that?

*sidenote* I’d like to see any one of you claim to not enjoy what Noah Crawford can do with his various body parts.

Plus, Super Cooch looks damn good in a cape and leotard. And she’s partial to those hooker heels. One more point that I find necessary to make: the love triangle with the Wonder Peen and Ridonkabutt would just seem silly without the Cooch. Pfft . . . a little bit of competition is a healthy thing.

And there you have it . . . The Cooch isn’t really all that silly, after all. She’s quite the complex character, as are most when you stop to look a little deeper. We used to do that a long time ago, we readers. We used to look for the hidden nuances in an author’s tale. That’s where the real magic was found.

Until next time . . .

Wednesday, September 4, 2013


Whoa! So it's been a week since the release of A MILLION DIRTY SECRETS and I feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world. I know that's a slight exaggeration, but if you've been following my Facebook Page, or if you've gone out to your local store to pick up a copy of the book, then you know they're FLYING off the shelves. Like this Target shelf on day #1 of availability. 


Shut the front door! I think I'm still in shock. And then there was this . . . ALL OVER the place . . .

So I'm feeling like a rock star, right? Because, come on . . . that's pretty dope! (Do people still say dope?) Not really. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I may have shed a tear or two, but thank goodness, the admin of my street team, Parker's Pimpin' Posse, was there. Alicia Justice and her bohunk, Joshua Young, drove all the way to my humble abode to keep me in line on release day. They run Jitterbug PR, so they're pretty adept at handling this sort of thing. Bless them. They're the real rock stars.

And speaking of rocking, Avenged Sevenfold's (aka A7X, aka BEST ROCK BAND EVER) newest album, Hail to the King, dropped on the same day A MILLION DIRTY SECRETS dropped. Coincidence? Most likely, but I'd like to think the day was just a foretelling of epicness. LOL! Just go with it, please . . .

Anyway, let's look at a couple more pics (and these are but a sampling) that I've received since the book was released. And it might be under the Best Selling Fiction section, but no, it hasn't been "officially" listed as best selling. Doesn't matter. I see it on the shelves and that's good enough for me. However, I did see today that A MILLION DIRTY SECRETS has snagged the #2 spot on the iBookstore Top 50 Best Selling Erotic Romance ebooks list, to which I say . . . PLEASE DON'T LET ANYONE DEMAND A RECOUNT!!! 

What a lovely collage of such beautiful people!

Oh, and I had a signing at Joseph-Beth Booksellers in Lexington, KY the day before the release. My mother insists I post pictures of it because that's how mothers are . . . *I <3 MY MOM!* 

Not sure what this face was about, but it gave me a chuckle, so I thought I'd share.

Okay, enough of that. Readers, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for making the release of A MILLION DIRTY SECRETS a dream come true!!! Please continue to tell all your friends about the book, and don't forget to leave those reviews! They really are that important!